Goofball-isms

Happy Birthday to my Goofball Goose!  Here's some of his wittiest highlights from the past few years!

Age 2 and a half:

The morning after the first night of Chanukah, he was saying good-bye to Daddy.  He said, "Come home soon - open Chanukah presents!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day I was putting papers in the shredder and he inquired about what I was doing.  I explained what  a shredder is and he giggled, saying "Paper goes poopy!"

Age 3:

"I eat vifafin!  (vitamin)  I big and strong!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once he saw Mommy reach for a tissue and asked, "Mommy, do you have an achoo?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When leaving for the day I asked Goofball to put his toy away.  He said, "Bye toy!  I'll call you back!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"One day I went to the dentist.  He checked my tushie and my knee."

Age 3 and a half:

"I like orange juice.  It tastes really yellow!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't live on a farm.  I live on Earth."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Robots do not have tushies."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"When is my birthday?"  "Right after the baby comes."  "Can the baby come today?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were driving home looking at the Christmas lights one day.  We passed the stationary train for the town of Brookhaven which was all lit up.  He said, "Mommy - that train celebrates Christmas!  How silly!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mommy what was your favorite part of the show?"  "I liked the dancers in their pretty costumes and tutus."  "Toot toots?  That's not a show!  That's what you make when you go poops in the potty!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mommy, is God a spaceman?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"Let's play airport!  I'll be the pilot.  You be the luggage!"

Age 4:

"I love you more than all the famous animals in the world!  Is that the sweetest thing you ever heard, Mommy?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I want water."
"Can you use the magic word?"
"Abracadabra.  I want water."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After clipping his nails, Goofball asked, "Do you like my hand haircut?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Who was the big brother when I was a baby?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Cheesecake is not a real food.  It does not exist.... unless you are a mouse."

Age 5:

"God is everywhere.  When you die, you live with God.  Dinosaurs dies.  Dinosaurs live with God.  Dinosaurs are everywhere."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I understand why you killed that spider.  You didn't want him to bite you and turn you into Spiderman."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mommy - Baby was crying, so I sang a song to him and he stopped!"

"That was really nice of you!"

"I know.  He has a great big brother!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I took Goofball to the doctor and told him he'd have to pee in a cup.  He asked, "Doesn't the doctor have a toilet?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Goofball got a new magazine in the mail.  He hugged it and said, "I can't wait to read this in the bathroom!"

Age 6:

"I am like a Jedi - When I get angry, I go in the other room and calm down.  My baby brother is like a Sith.  He just hits Mommy when he gets mad."

"When I sing Jewish songs, I feel like I am praying to God."

Age 7:
"I hear crickets cricking.  I hear bugs singing.  At nighttime, the bugs have a music class."

Age 8:
"I put my middle finger up, and I think I cursed myself!"

"I would be really humiliated if I had to go to the bathroom on an airplane" (We were discussing our trip to the Cradle of Aviation museum - there was an airplane bathroom with a plexiglass partition to keep people out.  G thought that there was a see-through door.)

Age 9:
"Here - try this pickle."
"It's like the pickle has angel wings.... and it flies to the moon in a pickle rocket and puts a pickle flag on the moon..."

"People who eat vegetables are vegetarian.  Not me.  I'm a pizzaterian."

Age 12:
"Check out my abs.  I don't have a 6 pack, but I think I have a 1 pack!"