Today while you were in preschool, I took your baby brother to the library, purchased a sweater for your Great Grandma's birthday, and cried my eyes out.
While for you, today was just another day of finger painting, story reading and animal crackers for snack, it was also the day America witnessed one of the worst school shooting ever.
Today a young man walked into an elementary school and started shooting at innocent people...mostly little children your age. Many children and faculty members are not going home to be with their families for the holidays. An entire community is mourning, and the entire country is shaking their heads and wondering why.
And I sit here and write my thoughts down because I don't know if, when or how we'll talk about this.
I know you think we live in a perfect world...a world where a kiss and hug can make a boo boo all better...but I feel compelled to talk to you about this...I just don't know how... so I write you this letter because some day we will sit down and talk about this....maybe when you're a little older...maybe something will inspire this conversation... like a discussion about how I'm being unfair because I don't allow toy guns in our home...or a new law will be passed about gun control...or you'll have a police officer come to your classroom and he or she will be carrying a gun...but I pray that it won't be because there is another event like the event that occured today in Newton, Connecticut.
So while I don't know what to say to you about today's headlines, I'll say this:
I love you. I love you more than you will ever understand. Until you grow up to be a Daddy with kids of your own, you will not be able to comprehend the amount of love that I have for you....even when I yell....even when I walk away from you....even when you drive me crazy. I will never stop adoring you.
Also, I want you to know that school is a safe place to be. We can't predict why people do what they do, when they do, and how they do it, but being afraid is no way to live....so as hard as it could be...we still need to see the good in people.
Next, when you see a kid eating lunch alone....join him. When you see a kid being teased, fight the urge to join in. Be a leader and not a follower. Stand up and do the right thing and don't be a bully yourself.
Finally, I need you to know that there is never, ever a reason to resort to violence. Even on your darkest day there is still the dimmest light. Nothing lasts forever...even pain.
I wish I could tell you all these things right now, but I don't think you'll understand....and it will just fuel more questions that I just don't have answers to.
Today when I picked you up from preschool, your teacher gave me a brief rundown about what you learned. She read you the bible story about Jacob's dream, and your art project of the day was a dream catcher, which we hung over your bed.
No, our world is not perfect...far from it. However, when I tuck you into bed tonight, and I give you many more kisses than usual, and we reflect upon the day, I'm just going to lie...and let you dream of your perfect little world.
