All we are sayin, is give geek a chance!

So just this morning as the first beams of sunlight were coming through my window, I opened up my eyes, stretched my arms, and rolled over to face my husband.  He ran his fingers through my hair, looked into my eyes, kissed me gently on the forehead, and said those five magic words that every woman wants to hear:  “Happy Geek Pride Day, Sweetie.” 

You see, Valentine’s Day is nice and all, and his Mommy trained him well enough to know that he must not come home without roses and chocolate, but nothing gets my baby all excited like Geek Pride Day.

Yep, the gays and the pagans get their pride days, why not reserve a day for our geeks as well?  Be proud and get your geek on!  Let’s celebrate all of the sci fi weirdos who are not ashamed to dawn their flashing futurama belt buckles!

In case you are wondering what to do to mark this special occasion and keep your geek happy, I have compiled a list of geek-related items and have taken the time to rate them for you, so you know what is essential and what is total crap.  The rating scale is as follows.

Jar Jar: stupid, worthless or annoying

R2D2: useful

Jabba the Hutt: slimy or creepy

Yoda: Smart

So here are some things you might find in a geek household:

Canned Unicorn Meat

Rating: Jar Jar

While I realize the novelty of this item, I also realize that we live in harsh economic times.  I have no problem with killing little innocent unicorns and eating their meat, I mean, we all have to survive and we can all enjoy the delicacy, but the problem is that …brace yourselves…unicorns are fictional.  So if you are expecting real unicorn meat, you’ll be disappointed because it’s nothing more than a plush unicorn in pieces with fake blood splatter and plush toys can really screw up your sauté pan.  So if you are craving unicorn, I suggest you instead run to Waldbaums and get yourself some pork chops and just pretend it’s unicorn, which I hear actually kinda tastes like fictional chicken.

Murder Shower Curtain

Rating: Jabba the Hutt

I’m a little torn on this one.  I think it’s totally appropriate but only under the following conditions:  It must go in your guest bathroom and guests with heart conditions must be forewarned before entering.  This is not the guest bathroom you allow your future mother-in-law to use, because let’s face it gentlemen… if you have a future mother-in-law that means that you have actually taken time out of your World of Warcraft adventures to go and get yourself a woman and you don’t want to mess up what may be your only opportunity to settle down with someone who is willing to spend the rest of her life washing your Battlestar Gallactica boxer shorts. 

Polluted Toxic Waste Glasses

Rating: Yoda

We actually have a set.  These are our juice glasses.  I like them because they actually have a use.  I’m not a big fan of knick knacks that serve no purpose and just sit on a shelf and collect dust (cough cough – stuffed monty python attack rabbit – cough cough), however these are kinda fun.  Just be warned that they are made from a very thin glass and can probably shatter easily, especially if you are using them to make a toast and clink them together.  Hazaa!

Darth Vader Bank

Rating: R2D2

Pretty darn cool bank, if I do say so myself.  You need a place to put your pennies when saving up for that newest version of Mass Effect 2 anyway, so why not save in style?  This bank is so cool that I bought it for my brother and his wife as a wedding present.  (The gravy boat was already purchased from their registry.) 

Glow in the dark Star Trek Wall Decals

Rating: Jar Jar

Now I consider myself pretty open minded about what we keep in our home (I mean most people have their wedding picture in their bedroom but I have a framed Starship Enterprise), however there comes a time when you have to draw the line.  Nuff said.

Star Trek Dress

Rating: Yoda

Ladies – this one is made for you.  Forget the lace bustier.   Just throw this dress on with a pair of fishnets and your man will go wild.  You’re welcome.  (Hope you’re not reading this, Mom.) 

Wonder  Woman Lingerie

Rating: Yoda

Ladies – see above.  (Sorry again, Mom.)

So there you go.  Happy Shopping for the geek that you love.  May the force be with you all, and may you all live long and prosper!